ERP

1a) 'Growing Up'

Even though a long time has passed since it happened, the scene at the hospital remains imprinted deep in my mind. I can never forgot how I felt then, when I saw my mother lying on the hospital bed, too weak to even sit up straight.

It happened quite a number of years back, when I was a small little boy, still woefully unaware of many things around me. The day she left us, everything went on as normal, my sister and I still went to school, we came back home together, and had dinner, as if nothing had happened. However, there was a gloomy atmosphere, as if something important was missing. Even the young me could sense that something was not right.

When dad came home, his face was full of worry. Despite our numerous attempts to find out what was wrong, he wouldn’t tell us. Just then, my sister and I realised something. Where was our mother? My father would normally pick her up from work, but she didn’t come back home with him today. As my mind drifted slowly away, wondering what could have happened to my mother, a sudden cry pierced the silent night. My sister, thinking that my mother had abandoned us, was starting to cry. My dad, seeing my sister so upset, had no choice but to reveal the truth. My mother was suffering from appendicitis and had to be hospitalised. He promised to take us to see her the next day.

That night, I couldn’t sleep at all. I should have known that my mother was sick. For the last few days before then, she frequently complained about her stomach hurting. I regretted not caring for her back then, not comforting her as a good son should have done.

The next day, the three of us went down to the hospital. For me, it was the first time there, and it scared me. Inside, the people were either malformed in one way or another, having an oddly bent elbow, having a bandaged leg, or were wearing those strange white uniforms. These people spooked me. I stayed close to my father, placing my small hands in his.

And then we reached my mother’s room. And what I saw scared me. She lay on that white bed, both eyes closed, face paler then I’ve ever seen before. She was connected to various medical equipment, some measuring heart rate, some giving her vital nutrients needed to sustain her. Seeing my mother like that, my sister burst into tears. Hearing her cries, my mother was awoken. She looked down on my sister, and raised her hand weakly. Seeing how weak she was really made me feel sympathetic and helpless. She was in so much pain, and yet I could not do anything to help her. I could not do a single thing to relieve her pain no matter how much I wished I could do so.

Of course, she survived the ordeal after undergoing an operation.

After that experience, I learnt how to care for my family members when they were sick, before their condition worsened. My bond with my mother increased in strength, as I learnt how to care for her as she did for me when I was young.